The Latest

Not surprisingly, I can't sleep. Mostly because of the amount of pain I'm in but of course also because I know the end is coming soon. The original plan was to induce at 38 weeks, have Cayla at term (most likely alive) and after we were ready to let her go after she passed, let them take her away to harvest her heart valves.

I am measuring 40 weeks+ right now because of the amount of fluid I have. The doctor says that the most probable thing to happen (and soon) is that my body is just going to go into spontaneous labor because of how distended (large) I am. Well there are some big risks to that, the most likely one being that my water will break and the force of it will also force some or all of Cayla out with it, depending on her positioning. She's still pretty small (no larger than 3-4 pounds) so it won't take a lot to force her out.

The doctor was just concerned because he doesn't want Cayla's birth to be any more traumatic, physically or emotionally, than it already is. Can you imagine my water breaking while I'm home alone with the kids and the umbilical cord coming out with it? Not only would I be afraid, but I'm sure Eden would never forget it. He just thinks that the more controlled an environment, the better the chances of having her come out safely and alive.

I'm sad. I'm bummed. This is not what I had planned. But as Debbie reminded me yesterday, "Uh...none of this is what you wanted."

Looks like we're not going to get to dedicate Cayla on October 4th as planned (boooo) but maybe we'll be able to work something else out.

Time is so short! I wish I was going to get more time with my baby. We're going in for my normally scheduled checkup on Thursday afternoon so that's probably when we're going to choose the date to have Cayla. We'll keep everyone posted.

Oh, and I got to see Cayla again on Saturday. It was such a better experience than the first 4D ultrasound because she wasn't drugged. She moved all over the place and we got some pictures that were way better than the first set. She looked so much more normal. Bummer that Joe got forced to stay at work and then had a brush fire to help clean up after so he didn't end up being able to come. He gets home later this morning--AFTER 3 LOOOOONG DAYS so maybe we can watch the DVD together.