Although exciting, this just hammers in the fact that our baby is not going to be needing these things for her own life and it makes me sad.
Until a couple days ago I was actually holding up pretty well (I still am) but have started to allow myself to grieve over our loss. I've come to the realization that this is going to be a huge hole in our hearts and family. I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that God is going to fill that hole for us but that the scar is still going to be there. It's sad that Eden and Jonas aren't going to have their sister to grow up with and really sad for us. She is going to be missed so much. I wonder if I'll become a complete basket case every year on the day she was born.
I was telling Joe the other night that I feel like this is like knowing when Eden or Jonas is going to die and just waiting for it to happen. She means as much to us as they do. Wow, we sure take a lot of things for granted in this world --like how much time we get with our kids. Please pray for our endurance and to be able to see things clearly.
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3 comments:
I am praying for the holes in your hearts that have already started to form. Praying that God fills the holes and stitches them sooner, rather than later. And, I think it's amazing that you are looking into organ donation - what a gift. Very admirable.
We are definitely continuing to pray for you guys. Knowing that God is with you and will continue to walk with you through all of this.
You are sure right - we have to cherish the moments we have. I love that you are thinking of the needs of other babies that you don't even know and doing everything you can to help. It's just another testimony to God's grace, mercy, and provision that you are willing to bless others in your grief. I know that God will heal you and fill your emptiness with HIMSELF, and He already is in some ways - just in your openness to His will and to give. Praying for your hurting hearts today and every day. Love you!
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